I have been trying to jog whenever I can to beat the fact that I work from home — I walk 10 feet to get to my job. And today, like other days, I started off in a random direction. Usually I run as far as I can in one direction, then turn down some street and go that way. This time, I made more turns in an attempt to find new areas I hadn’t been to before.
Well, the area I run in is a massive Victorian neighborhood, if you will. [There’s not really neighborhoods in London as you might think of in the states. They’re more of just areas where all the houses look similar.] After about 10 minutes I come upon a change of scenery. The area look much different where everything looks very run-down. Not quite knowing where I am, I decide to head back. I usually only take 20 minute runs so this was about right anyways.
Now’s where it gets interesting. I can’t quite find my exact way back, but this is quite normal for my jogs. I head the general direction until things start to look familiar. Anyone that knows me knows that I have an uncanny sense of direction. I go with my gut and keep jogging.
About 10 minutes goes by and I should be about home. Problem is, I still have no idea where I am. I start taking every turn trying to find something that looks familiar. Maybe even a street sign that I recognize. Anyone that’s been to London knows how well their streets are marked (they’re not) so I shouldn’t have a problem. To add to the problems, I had to “use the restroom” as us Americans say. The worst was that it wasn’t the “garden variety” bathroom break that a tree or even petunias can take care of. I was going to need to be home soon. I couldn’t run anymore, I was left to walking.
Another 10 minutes goes by and I find salvation. Fulham Road. It’s the largest road in Fulham and happens to go right past my place. Hallelujah! Now, which direction?? Never fear, I’ll just go with my gut instinct and incredible sense of direction. It’s never failed me before. Let’s go…right!
I walked for a long time, sure I was on the right track, and being the Man that I am there’s no way I needed to ask for directions. I passed 5 wine stores, 14 pubs, and 3 laundromats including one called “Go Gay Cleaners”. Not sure what that’s about. This road really did last forever, or did it? When I hit a dead end I started to wonder. I still saw signs for “Fulham”, so that was good, but I decided it was time to glance at a map (I will never ask someone – that’s just admitting defeat). The map at the little bus stop didn’t even have my house on it. Actually, I didn’t recognize anything on it.
I figured that the only way home could be was the other direction on Fulham Road. To speed things up, I decided to grin and bear the running. That was the only way I’d be home before midnight. Past the pubs, past the wine stores, and finally past the Go Gay Cleaners. It’s never fun to backtrack, especially when you’re on foot. Finally, back where I started. My legs were shot so there was no way I could run anymore. Never fear, now I had the pleasure of making progress.
Luckily it didn’t take long before I noticed a few little shops I had been to before. I was definitely on track. I rounded a corner, looked up, and there it was! My building! Now, it was waaaay off in the distance on the horizon… but at least I could see it! Yaaaay!! Then it started to rain. As my luck would have it, this was the typical London rain. The kind that is just a light rain, just heavy enough to say, “You’re an idiot for not bringing an umbrella.” Thankfully it was not the other kind of London rain… the kind that says “I am going to drench you right down to the bone”. I didn’t care though, I could see my flat. I was happy.
It took me 2 hours for the entire tour de London and I’m glad to be home. Now it’s time to shower, then go pick up some beers to put back the 10 pounds I lost.
